Inside-Out Hospitality

If you have ever had a rough day and a warm hug or pat on the back brought you some relief, then you have an idea about how the power of touch (or feel) can be a powerful tool in hospitality. We have been on an amazing series on the 6 senses of hospitality. So far, we have handled the power of sound and sight. Today, we will talk about the sense of touch. This touch can either be physical, material, or even emotional.

Warm Welcome

I personally prefer churches where people rush to greet new timers with a handshake (or hug) instead of acknowledging distant smiles. Worse, after service, everyone returns to their circle of friends, and the new timer is left standing in a corner (sometimes abandoned by the person who brought them there!).

“Greet one another with a holy kiss.” — Romans 16:16a, NIV

Some people are touchier than others, and if they are not comfortable with touch, they may find it offensive. When done right, touch can lead to beautiful results, but it can also be a source of offence if done wrong. Touch must be appropriate and respectful.

Things to Watch Out For

“Be careful to live properly among your unbelieving neighbors. Then even if they accuse you of doing wrong, they will see your honorable behavior, and they will give honor to God…” — 1 Peter 2:12, NLT

• Cultural: e.g. In most African cultures, it is considered rude to be the one to extend your hand to greet an elderly person. You must wait for them to do so (many knocks on my head serve as a reminder to date).
• Gender differences: Avoid lingering hugs with people of the opposite sex, as some might get mixed signals (even to onlookers).
• Kids: Teach your children about safe touch, setting boundaries on who can touch, hug or carry them at home, school or even in the church.
• When you (or a guest) are ill, you don’t want to transmit germs to your guests. You can do an elbow bump or a wave and explain why (to avoid sending the wrong message).

What Can You Do?

Where appropriate:

• Extend a handshake or hug to welcome those around you (the person sitting beside you in class, church, or who comes to your house).
• If you are afraid of germs, use a hand sanitiser (but not immediately after, as it may send the wrong message).
• When in doubt, ask, ‘Would you like a hug?’ if you really feel someone needs one.
• Hold hands when praying with or for someone.
• Personally serve your guest or offer a personalised gift.

Cozy Home

I used to have this blanket, and I loved it so much. I used it from Form 1 to 7, even up to my university days. The only problem with that blanket was that it was no longer soft for the skin due to wear and tear… what we call ‘chuku chuku’ (scratchy). Obviously, others had a hard time sleeping with the blanket. So what is comfy for you may not be comfy for others.

“My people will live in peaceful dwelling places, in secure homes, in undisturbed places of rest.” — Isaiah 32:18, NIV

Here’s how you can upgrade your home to hotel standard by appealing to the sense of touch:

• Use soft and smooth fabrics for your bedsheets, blankets, towels, pillows and soft rugs around the house (it feels good waking up from the bed and your feet touching a soft rug on the floor).
• Invest in durable quality to avoid buying new ones all the time.
• Comfortable bed (and mattress) or a comfy chair with a good view
• Make sure the items above and your home are clean (a good sight for sore eyes and a good overall feeling).
• If you want them to remove their shoes (as some hosts prefer), offer them cozy slippers or other alternatives.
• Regulate the temperature at home. If it is too warm, open the windows, get a fan or AC, etc. If it is too cold, offer tea, a blanket and a heater if possible.

Emotional or Spiritual Touch

As we already know, Inside-out hospitality goes beyond eating and drinking, it touches the spirit and soul of your guest, bringing in God’s presence.

“As one whom his mother comforts, so I will comfort you; and you shall be comforted in Jerusalem.” — Isaiah 66:13, ESV

Also,

“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” — Galatians 6:2, NIV

• Create a safe space in your home where people can be comfortable to share their struggles. This can mean avoiding distractions such as TV and phones and giving your guests undivided attention.
• When they share, a gentle touch, such as a pat on the back, an arm around the shoulder, or a hug, can be very reassuring. This doesn’t only work on kids; it also works on adults.
• Pray with and for them (where appropriate, lay holy hands).
• We already spoke about how our words can make someone feel welcomed, touching the hearts of our guests.

I have a friend who almost always knows how to get people to tell him what is bothering them. I noticed that he will go beyond asking if you are ok. Still, he will find a way to either visit, invite you over or just walk to you, hold your hand, or put an arm around you, look into your eyes and ask again… ‘Are you ok?’ and then you just realize how they start pouring it all out and the healing process begins!

Conclusion

Leveraging the sense of touch or feelings can improve our hospitality to our guests to the glory of God. You can do so through a personal physical touch, an emotional touch or investing in soft fabrics in your home. Take note of what is appropriate and respectful in every setting.

Have you had an experience where someone’s touch made you feel welcomed? Or the opposite? Please share in the comment section.
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Until next time, keep hosting!