Inside-Out Hospitality

My guilty pleasure is scrolling down the streets of Instagram. I especially like the Toddler Moms‘ Street! There’s an immediate consolation I feel knowing I am not alone, and in most cases, I burst out in laughter because what I thought was unbearable; others had it in higher doses (don’t judge me, that’s why I call it a guilty pleasure).

Those streets have changed with time. I used to avoid them before because they only showed me picture-perfect families; not only could I not relate to them, but it put unnecessary pressure on me. But with time, the inhabitants of the street have started showing us, behind the scenes, the messy parts (and, in some cases, how they either embraced it or got out of it).

Today, I will share one of my messy hospitality behind the scenes and the lessons I learned from the experience. It’s not an easy post—in fact, I never thought I would be writing about it. I had another post planned for today, but during my devotion this morning, I came across two passages that made me understand that I had to share this story and its lessons. You can skip to the end if you only want to know the lessons.

 He replied, “If they kept quiet, the stones along the road would burst into cheers!” Luke 19:40

He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we can give them the same comfort God has given us.2 Corinthians 1:4

The story and testimony

We went to bed one night in January with joyful expectations because it was our daughter’s birthday the following day. But things didn’t go as planned. The fire alarm woke us up at about 3 am! The lights were out, so it was a hurdle to find our way to the source of the fire.

Our kitchen was burning (picture at the end of the post); you can imagine the panic and chaos. The birthday girl got up crying, but we were trying to extinguish the fire.

God helped us, and with the help of a fire extinguisher, my husband put out the fire. Some neighbours came to help, and the firefighters came in in under 5 minutes, so we had to evacuate the building. They took us to the hospital for a routine checkup, and everyone was fine.

It is an understatement to say that I am grateful to God for preservation. We lost some property, but that’s nothing compared to a healthy family. Glory be to God!

The lessons learnt

Part 1

I had plans for my daughter’s birthday and saw those plans burn before my eyes. The daycare had said only plain cakes were allowed. Ah ah, what is a plain cake that I can not bake? I had to bake a cake, but that was no longer possible! The thought of buying store-bought items made me feel like an unworthy mom (looking back, I ask myself, by whose standards really).

Finally, I bought the things and gave them to the daycare, and as usual, I felt unnecessary pressure to explain myself and why I didn’t bake myself. The teacher laughed at me well, saying other moms didn’t bake theirs either, and I did not have to stress it. She sent us pictures of how the kids enjoyed the birthday, and that was lesson 1

Lesson 1: Don’t compare your hospitality to others. It adds to your stress for nothing.

Part 2

I serve in the ushering department in my church, and all our meetings have either been online or in church. I advocated for meetings to rotate in people’s houses so we could get to know each other better. As usual, when someone suggests something in a meeting, that one ends up being the one to do it! (makes you think hard before suggesting something). I agreed, but said it will only be possible once my kitchen was ready.

Unfortunately, the repairs took much longer than anticipated, but the meeting still had to be held. I had to preach to myself (and my husband did a good job at it, too). How can I say that hospitality isn’t about being perfect or showcasing, yet I was withholding a hospitality opportunity here because my home was not ideal?

Hahaha, don’t get it twisted. I am not a great cook, but I have at least 1 or 2 meals that when I cook, you will think I have ‘killed it’. Anyway, I decided to heed my advice and invited them anyway. I ordered food and served on the table. When people congratulated me for the good meal, saying it wasn’t me who cooked, didn’t feel as heavy as I thought. I am glad I invited them; we all had a great time and got to know ourselves better.

Lesson 2: What matters in hospitality is a willing and available heart.

Part 3

One would think that I would have understood the message by now, but no! I still shied away from hospitality opportunities until the insurance replaced my kitchen.

One old couple, for instance, we have been planning this after-church invite forever. Finally, my kitchen got repaired (picture below at the end of the post), and we could finally set a date.

Hehehe, as God wants you to graduate from his course, the new kitchen plate was faulty and had to be replaced, taking another week or so. But we had already invited them and could not undo them. Plus, two more people had added to the visit!

By this time, I had already become skilled in oven meals and had acquired a multicooker. I refused to panic and did what I could without feeling guilty. Needless to say, we had great conversations that day.

Lesson 3: Make do with what you have; it doesn’t have to be fancy.

All in all, the experience was not pleasurable, but God turned it around for our good.

• I experienced hospitality as a guest. Because of the smoke, we could not immediately head home, so a family hosted us for the day.
• We experienced God’s provision in many ways. A family brought us a whole bag of groceries without much preparation. One of the workers brought two big cartons of toys and books for our kids, just to name a few.
• Insurance covered the cost, so now we know never to joke with insurance.
• I got to learn many new oven recipes (post for another day)
• Through all this, we met many new people, some of whom have become valuable connections to this day.

Conclusion

Here is the summary of the 3 major hospitality lessons learnt

1. Don’t compare your hospitality to others. It adds to your stress for nothing.
2. What matters in hospitality is a willing and available heart.
3. Make do with what you have; it doesn’t have to be fancy.

How about you? What situation is keeping you from practising hospitality? Are you waiting to move into your own house first? Or maybe a bigger house? Are you waiting for ‘one money like that’ before you start? Or maybe to top up your kitchen skills first?

Remember, hospitality is not necessarily an event; it’s a lifestyle and doesn’t need to be fancy; it just needs to be available!

Do you have any messy hospitality stories to share? Please comment below. Remember to like and share.

Until next time!

(Image 1: The incident Image 2: After repairs)