Charity begins at home: Hospitality in your household

A popular proverb says, ‘Charity begins at home,’ which means you should take care of your family and close relations before considering helping those far away. This proverb, while not exactly in the Bible, finds its principle rooted in the Bible.

Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. 1 Timothy 5:8, NIV

If you have been reading this blog, you are probably inspired to be more hospitable. You have made a list of people to invite over or show hospitality. But before you open your door to those outside, how about those within your house? Yes, I am talking about hospitality in your household.

It’s strange to think of hospitality within our household. After all, the very definition of hospitality, biblically and otherwise, is about making guests or strangers feel welcome, valued, and comfortable. Yes, you have cleaned your home, stocked up on supplies, beautified the space, and just waiting for the next guest to showcase your hospitality skills. But how about the negative energy in your home? Have you considered cleaning that, too?

Negative energy, you ask? When there is tension at home with your spouse, children, or other housemates, do you think it can’t be sensed behind the fake smiles? This sometimes makes your guests feel very uncomfortable, and in some cases, they believe they caused the tension.

By household, I am referring to all those living in your house. This could be your parents, spouse, children, live-in house-workers, relatives, family friends, or in-laws (yes, even to them!). Is your home a place where each of these people feels welcomed, valued, and comfortable?

Why show hospitality to your household?

Here are some reasons why you should show hospitality to your household

Good practice: Practice makes perfect, and who better to practice on than those around you. And we know those at home are usually more complicated than those outside (most guests like to be on their best behavior)…so it’s like hard practice for an easy exam!
Shows integrity: Imagine people outside describing you as loving and hospitable. Your household is twisting the nose and giving ‘waka lie’ vibes, meaning you show one face outside and something else in your home.
Avoids resentment: This is often the case with pastor’s kids who sometimes feel their parents care for everyone else but them. If left unchecked, instead of learning to be hospitable like you, they will tend to dislike it (and you).
Good example: You are an open book for others to read. When you are hospitable to those at home, you can inspire them to do the same.
Easy recruits: These people will be the ones to help you when you are hosting strangers. You want them to do it quickly and joyfully. Remember the story of Abraham and Sarah.
Positive energy: Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity! It is like the precious ointment upon the head, that ran down upon the beard, even Aaron’s beard: that went down to the skirts of his garments (Ps133:1-2)

How do you show hospitality to your household?

The basics

1: Prayer: Pray for God to show you opportunities to be hospitable. Pray you will be willing to do so because God has already given us the ability (Romans 5:5).

2: Focus on love: Authentic hospitality is rooted in love, and it has its characteristics (1 Corinthians 13:4-8)

3. Work on your attitude: An author said the difference between hospitality to your household and outsiders is attitude. I agree! We will go to lengths to impress our guests, but to do the same for our household is a burden. Most of the time, our efforts are not as appreciated inside or outside. Let that not dissuade you; you are not alone; even Jesus said, “A prophet is honored everywhere except in his hometown and among his relatives and his own family.” Mark 6:4

4: Keep at it: So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. We will reap a harvest of blessings at just the right time if we don’t give up. Therefore, whenever we have the opportunity, we should do good to everyone—especially to those in the family of faith. Galatians 6:9-10 NLT

Practical tips

Clean your space, and do not inconvenience others with dirt or nasty habits.
Make food and drinks (water) available and be considerate when serving food portions (it is not funny coming home to an empty pot).
Spending time together, showing concern, and listening (this will require turning off the TV or phones sometimes or leaving that room you always lock yourself in at home).
Give them space: It seems contradictory to the previous tip, but people also need some personal space to wind down. Say you had a weekend guest; wouldn’t you let them have some time to themselves?
Have activities together, e.g., game nights, cooking, and eating.
Checking up on each other throughout the day
Pray together
Help out at home…again, no point helping the whole world when your family needs you, too.