The 6 Senses of Hospitality: Sound

If you’ve ever attended a Cameroonian wedding, when you start hearing some Grace or Ben Decca sounds or when the music starts slowing down, you just know it is time to eat (I think it helps with digestion coz why else do restaurants do this as well?). When the music starts heating up, then you know the dance floor is about to break! But in conferences, there is quiet, people are told to keep quiet so as to be able to focus on the speaker. DJs and MCs understand how sound influences the mood of an event, using music and speech to guide guests through each moment.

Two weeks ago, we began our 6 Senses of Hospitality series with the power of sight. Today, let’s explore how harnessing the power sound can help us become better hosts.

Sound has the power to play with moods and even remove evil spirits! (you can agree with me that some of our guests look like they have some playing ‘tabala’ in them). I love the story in the Bible where David used to play the harp for Saul whenever he was tormented by an evil spirit. The music brought him relief and peace.

“And whenever the tormenting spirit from God troubled Saul, David would play the harp. Then Saul would feel better, and the tormenting spirit would go away.” (1 Samuel 16:23, NLT)

Just as music transformed Saul’s mood, the sounds in our homes—whether words, background noise, or music—can create an environment of warmth or discomfort. We must be intentional about using sound wisely in our hospitality.

What to Say: Words that Warm the Heart

Kind words have the power to uplift and make guests feel truly welcome. I am not saying you should become pretentious and say what you don’t mean. I know most of us just throw in the ‘feel at home’ card but inside inside, we are afraid the person will go into our kitchen and fry 4 eggs for themselves or worse, put their legs on our sofa!

Yet, you can still use kind words.

“Kind words are like honey—sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.” (Proverbs 16:24)

Here are a few ways to use words effectively:
Extend a heartfelt invitation – Make it clear that they are genuinely welcome. e.g. I am glad you are here.
Ask about their journey – It’s a great conversation starter and shows you are interested in them. e.g. Were you able to find this place easily? (I guarantee you, you might hear the craziest of stories, especially from very descriptive storytellers)
Offer a sincere compliment – This right here, can change every frown upside down! It could be about their smile, outfit, or really anything you notice. e,g, Wow, you look good, I love your hair.
Express gratitude – Thank them for coming and again when they’re about to leave. Add some more detail not just something generic so they go out the door fast. e.g. Thank you for taking the time to come over, I had a nice time and oh that recipe you shared, I am definitely going to try it out.
Speak blessings over them – A short prayer or words of encouragement and blessing can be powerful. If needed, evangelize, and talk about the Good News of Jesus! Warning: The moment you start doing this, hahahhaa your name will become pastor oh…but who cares right? 😉
Give clear directions – Let them know where they can find the restroom, and where to sit, or introduce them to others. Remove the burden of your guest feeling uncomfortable asking by saying it beforehand.

Be that person that charges someone up with their words.

What to Avoid: Words That Hurt

Not all words create a welcoming atmosphere—some can embarrass and make guests feel unwelcome (and as the good hosts that we are, we don’t want that right)

“Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.” (Ephesians 4:29, NLT)

Avoid commenting on weight or appearance – Just don’t. The person is probably already self-conscious about that and now you bring it up, it sticks with the person throughout the visit (and even after). Even well-meaning comments can be uncomfortable.
Don’t dominate the conversation – Keep the focus balanced and not just on yourself; instead, be more of an active listener. We have all watched movies where people didn’t go on second dates because the other person just couldn’t stop talking about themselves. Remember, hospitality isn’t about showcasing your house, cooking skills, or achievements. It’s about connection.
Avoid gossip and complaints – There is a way ‘gist’ can spice up a hangout …but that ‘gist’ should not be the one that pulls people down. Personally, I always feel if someone can be so comfortable backbiting someone in my presence, then as soon as I walk away, I am next! Speaking negatively about others or grumbling about being tired can make guests feel uneasy. It puts people who do not like gossiping on the spot, creating unease.
Avoid sensitive or controversial topics – Unless you’re sure it’s appropriate, topics like politics, personal struggles, or divisive issues can ruin the mood. Not all arguments are bad…some create a fun environment, e.g., Football is a nice one…but even this, if not well handled, can get someone offended.
Be mindful of jokes – What’s funny to one person may be offensive to another.

Managing Other Sounds in Your Space

Just like a DJ adjusts volume levels at an event, you should also be mindful of sound levels in your home.

“For God is not a God of disorder but of peace, as in all the meetings of God’s holy people.” (1 Corinthians 14:33, NLT)

Reduce distractions – Turn off the TV or keep the volume low (unless it’s a planned movie time of course). If you have older kids, beg them beforehand that you need quiet…if begging doesn’t work, keep them busy (works well with smaller children too).
Limit phone distractions – Try to keep your phone away and be fully present with your guests. I know how hard this can be these days but give it a try.
Use background music wisely – Soft instrumental or worship music can create a peaceful dining atmosphere (remember, it probably helps digestion…it can make any tasteless food nice on the tongue).
Prepare a playlist in advance – This saves you from wasting time to find songs during the visit.
Invest in a good sound system – A quality Bluetooth speaker or a more sophisticated sound system can enhance the ambiance, especially for larger gatherings.

Your Turn!

I hope these simple tips help you create a warm and welcoming atmosphere through sound. Just keep in mind how you can relieve and give peace to your guests like David was to Saul. Have you ever had an experience where a host’s words made you feel truly at home—or the opposite? Share your thoughts in the comments!

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Until next time!

Inside-Out Hospitality